.png)
by Aleksandra
Maybe, some of you have also been experiencing turbulent times this last month? Astrologically and also in terms of the mood of the season it seems to have been a month for deep inner work, turbulence and transformation.
Have you found yourself over and over again running the same stories, which create pain in your life and don’t get you anywhere?
Have you struggled to understand, how did you create a painful reality for yourself yet again?
Despite of any circumstances, do you still have a deep knowing of yourself and your life as being outrageously awesome, magnificently dignified, magically easeful and beautiful?
This deep knowing in kind of life, which is beyond the ordinary, is there no matter how far away do we feel most of the times from this reality. Perhaps, you don’t realize yet that your extra-ordinary reality is there within the reach of your hand. If you can imagine it, get the tiniest glimpse of it, taste it in the passing of the wind or just know deeply that it is there – then it is indeed already there! All it needs is making this bigger, clearing space for it and being actually committed to your extra-ordinary reality.
During this last weeks, I have been faced with a big wound of mine, we could call it a core wound. This painful wound has been supported by numerous stories, which run in my system. The stories of ‘not being good enough, especially not being ‘enough sexually for my partner’; stories which come from generations of women, those of sacrifice in a relationship and not expressing my hurt feelings to my partner, keeping my pain to myself locked in the closet; stories of scarcity of love (especially physical love); stories of needing protection and safety as a woman and expecting it provided from the outside of myself source (i.e. a man).
The overall theme in those stories has been that they are all a variation of a victim story and they all strengthen my victim consciousness. Those stories always present a victim (me) and something to blame (my partner, my parents, the society, life etc.). These are the kind of stories, which let us run our life and create our life based on our traumas and keeping us strongly attached to our pain bodies. As you can imagine, living from the perspective of pain stories will not create any of the beauty, which we wish for ourselves.
At 32 weeks (7 months) now, carrying a new life in my body, I went though a major crisis with my partner last weeks. My core wounds have been activated, I saw no way out, I felt helpless and the drama loop continued for many days seemingly without an end. There were so many stories running in my mind which confirmed my helplessness and my right to be hurt that it took me to allow major disappointment, letting go and grieving to bring about a transformation to this ‘desperate’ situation.
The ego is very attached to those stories as the emotional and psychological pain created by those stories also carries some benefit to the ego. The drama-loving ego chooses to believe those stories. It invests in them by affirming them and looking for the evidence that they are TRUE stories and our pain body is righteous, our suffering being justified.
Here is a choice – do you prefer to be righteous or happy?
If you opt for happiness that is a start! Just letting go of the stories however, doesn’t always work. Many times, what is needed, is actually grieving of those stories. Deep grieving with consciousness that we are grieving different parts of ourselves being in pain or feeling inadequate. Through this grieving process we create the acceptance for letting them go. This grieving can lead to ego death which is just what we want! The death of the ego is letting go of at least on of the story and letting go of the idea that this story is right and our pain is righteous. After ego death the stories might still pop-up from time to time but they will loose their power over us if we have let the emotional body fully express. We no longer believe the stories as we have no attachment in them being true to justify our pain experience.
Second part is to replace those dying stories with new ones, which tell us of our extra-ordinary reality. This is the godlly creation power which we have all been granted with - to redefine, reinterpret our reality and live our life according to our own script. No matter how attached the ego is to the pain stories, choose to follow this inner thread of passion, awakening of different dimensions of yourself and pleasurable sensations!
In my extra-ordinary reality Eros is the medicine, it is abundant, it is ecstatic and bliss in daily life becomes my reality. The extra-ordinary reality is actually home to my soul. This is when the soul expresses herself in my life, in creativity, in my energetic field, in my relationships, in the magical happenings of the daily life.
Establishing oneself in this extra-ordinary reality takes commitment. It takes a definite decision that “I’m fed up with my victimhood consciousness and all the pain and limitations in my life it causes. I’m hence, determined to look into my patterns, drop the blame and activate the stories, which actually make my life feel awesome and extra-ordinary”.
May you write your life script based on your most exiting possible imagined reality! And follow the sensations in the body! They present the key to this new reality, they are pleasure, healing, ecstasy (from Greek ekstasis = ek – outside and stasis – current state) sensations and they are available to you here and now. Don’t just imagine your extra-ordinary reality from your mind level, go into the embodied sensation of that reality.
Here, offering you support to step into your extra-ordinary reality with your body, mind and heart. Join us for our upcoming events or gift yourself a one-to-one session to uplevel your reality. See you in ecstasy embodied!